The Raven Series 2 Read online

  I lifted a brow.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get dinner some night.”

  There was something almost too sweet about Zander. It made the guilt I was feeling heavier. Figures I would fall for the bad brother instead of the nice guy. “Oh,” I managed to clumsily utter.

  The corner of his lips curved. “Oh? That’s all you’ve got?”

  What did he expect? Not only had he caught me off guard, I wasn’t really in the “dating” mind frame. “Sure?” I replied.

  “Look. We’ve got to start somewhere. I know this is awkward, but there’s no avoiding it.”

  Touché. “You’re right. I’m not normally so flaky. I promise.”

  “Really? Because I find that hard to believe.”

  I stared blankly at him.

  “I’m joking,” he laughed.

  “Good, because I was seriously thinking about standing you up.”

  The smile lines around his lips deepened. “You’re going to make a helluva banshee.”

  I shrugged. “We’ll see. One day at a time.”

  “We have a lot to talk about, but I want you to know I’m here. For whatever you need. A shoulder to cry on, a punching bag to hit, or someone to listen. I don’t want things to always be strained between us. It would be easier if we got along.”

  “You’re right. It would be easier. I need a little time to figure things out—”

  “Like Zane?” he interjected.

  Dead air.

  What did I say? No? I was a sucky liar, so what was the point? Denying I had feelings for Zane would make me look like a fool.

  Zander frowned. “If you want things to be easier, try spending less time with my brother.”

  Ouch.

  Just when I thought he was a softy at heart, he goes and zeros it out with a comment like that. Made my kitty claws want to come out. It could be he was testing me to see if I would automatically jump to Zane’s defense. Truth be told, it was exactly what I wanted to do, but I bit my tongue, which took effort. “I’ll take it under consideration,” I said.

  He nodded, and with one last glance down the hall toward my open bedroom door, Zander left. If every confrontation with him was going to end like this, we were doomed. Even in the ground and Rose was causing me strife. I slumped against the wall as a pang hit me in the temples. These migraines recently plaguing me were only getting worse.

  Shoulders heavy with responsibility, I kicked off the wall and headed back into my room. Zane was sprawled out on my bed with his hands linked behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Wisps of dark curls lay over the lines of thought creasing his forehead.

  “You lied,” he said as I plopped down on the window seat.

  I glared at him, tucking my legs underneath me. Don’t tell me he was going to start harping on me too. “What about?” Not that I really cared all that much.

  He turned on his side, propping his head on his hand. “You’re not okay. I can feel the tangle of emotions you’re trying to hide.”

  Uncertainty. Fear. Sadness. Anger. Lots of anger.

  Yep. They were all there inside me.

  I hugged my legs to my chest, resting my chin on my knees. “So, what if I did? Things are already messy.” My emotions wouldn’t be a jumble if I didn’t want to attack him with my mouth every time I saw him.

  “And about to get messier.” The words came out of Zane’s mouth like ice.

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’re going to have to be more careful, especially now that you’re expected to hone your powers. There’s no one to guide you. Many of the elders have the basic knowledge of your skills, but not the full extent. Your training will test the symmetry of our souls, which is a problem. A big problem.”

  “Do I even want to know why?” I mumbled.

  Sitting up, he swung his long legs over the side of the bed, which he made look all too inviting. The seriousness of his expression told me I should get my head out of the gutter and stop thinking about him on my sheets.

  “With the upheaval of rogue reapers and increase of hallows, the last thing we need is for the monarchy to crumble,” he said. “There is an order that needs to be followed, one that’s been in place for centuries. Your marriage to Zander, Death’s firstborn, solidifies the monarchy’s lineage.” Death was the sector overlord for the Black Crows. That much I understood, but there were so many rules I didn’t begin to comprehend. “If anyone outside of my family found out what you were to me…” His voice smoothly trailed off.

  Most days I didn’t know what I was to him, but I got what he was implying—mostly. There were still a million questions. “It would be bad,” I supplied.

  “Bad doesn’t begin to cover it, princess. If you thought your life was in danger before, it would be Hell on Earth if the other sectors found out our souls resonate. They would take advantage of what they saw as a chance for new management. We need to be careful. No accidently merging souls.”

  Duly noted.

  The thing was, I didn’t know how to do it, so not doing it should be pretty simple. Excellent logic. But what I really wanted to know was where did we stand? I wanted him to give me a sign of hope, something worthy of risking everything for. I fiddled with the mark on my wrist, tracing it with my fingernail. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Depends,” he replied coolly.

  “Do you feel any…different when you’re around me?”

  A half smile played across his lips. “You mean do I still want to lock you up in a tower for all eternity?”

  “Zane,” I sighed. “You know what I mean.”

  He ran his hands through his hair. “It doesn’t matter if we’re together or apart. Since the day you came to Raven Hallow I’ve felt different. A cool tingle starts at the base of my neck, and the shadows I manipulate quiver. The closer you are to me, the more intense it becomes. Is that what you mean?”

  Gulp.

  Yeah. And then some. “Glad it’s not just me. Does your mark ever—?”

  “Feel like it is going come alive and fly off my wrist,” he finished. “Whenever you’re near.”

  Heat swamped my cheeks, and I totally blamed Zane. It was hard to stick to my resolve of duty first when he was actually nice…and charming…and so good-looking. “Is there no other way? Is my only option really to marry Zander?”

  One second he was sitting on my bed and the next he was beside me, eyes frosted. “What you want and what I want doesn’t matter. You’re no good to me or to any of us if you’re dead. So yes, your only option is to marry my brother.”

  Hope shattered.

  There was anger in his expression, but was it directed at me or the injustice of our bleak situation?

  It didn’t matter, because he ruffled my feathers. “I take it back. You’re a complete asshat!” I yelled, but it was a waste of breath.

  He was gone.

  I gave the shadow where he had stood a big fat middle finger. Suck on that, Zane Hunter.

  Chapter 5

  I was having one of those days where I wanted to break crap, hoping it would make me feel better. I stared at the lavender vase on my dresser thinking it would do nicely, and that was when I knew I had to get out of there.

  I was going stir-crazy.

  Rolling off the bed, I quickly changed into a pair of spandex shorts and a sports bra. Running was not my favorite thing to do, but there was all this excess energy buzzing inside me that I didn’t know what else to do with. Calling Zane was out of the question.

  So I laced on my Nike’s, strapped my phone to my armband, and trotted down the balcony stairs. The heat of the sun hit me in a wave, guaranteeing I was going to work up a sweat. Perfect. Maybe I could ooze this outlandish need to scream Zane’s name right out of my pores.

  Looping around the gardens, I headed for the gates leading to the beach access. I punched in the five-digit code, and as the doors slide open, two of the security detail appeared behind me. I stopped and turned around. “What are
you doing?”

  Backs rigid, their eyes were hidden by the dark sunglass. “We’re instructed to discreetly follow you,” informed the taller of the two, although they were both over six feet.

  “Uh, okay.” I let the idea simmer for a minute. “By who?” I asked.

  Neither of them appeared dressed for a run in business type suits. They looked at each other before the one on the left said, “Zane.”

  Shocker. “Aren’t you supposed to take orders from me?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Problem solved. “Well then, let’s get one thing straight. Don’t ever call me ‘ma’am.’ I’m not even eighteen yet,” I said without flinching, making sure to catch each of them in the eye. “And I don’t need an escort. I’m just going for a run on the beach. Capish?”

  The Men in Black doofuses didn’t object. They stood with their hands looped in front of them, feet slightly apart. Satisfied we were finally on the same page, I took a little band off my wrist, bound my hair back with a couple twists, and kicked off in a brisk jog.

  The air was sizzling for the end of July and the sun was bright. I never tired of watching the way the light, sun or moon, played over the water. Forgoing music, I liked listening to the subtle and lulling sounds of the ocean. I paced myself, the sand kicking up off my heels. Five minutes in, I heard a squawking overhead. Cranking my neck, I blocked the sun with my hands, only to see two hawks circling in the sky above.

  I frowned. So much for ditching my security detail. Apparently Zane’s word held more weight than mine. Could be he scared the piss out of them. I didn’t precisely have the threatening tactic at five-two with sunny blonde hair.

  They underestimated me. Another time, I might have shown how much, but not today. I had an overwhelming amount of information to absorb about reapers, but I did know that Red Hawks could morph into…pretty much anything—living thing that is. I guess that explained why neither Agent Tightass nor Agent Stick-up-his-butt put up much resistance about me leaving the manor. How very sneaky and annoying of Zane to stick me with two reapers who could virtually follow me everywhere—even in the bathroom.

  What a horrifying thought.

  But now that I was thinking about Zane—good or bad thoughts—there was no stopping my brain.

  I was as confused as ever on where Zane and I stood. Was I being completely foolish thinking there could ever be something between us? Probably. Did it stop me from hoping? Not a chance. Underneath all this sarcastic, broken, tragic exterior was a girl who believed in love, who desperately wanted to be in love. But I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that it might not be in the cards for me. I tried to pretend it didn’t matter, but it did. I didn’t know if I had it in me to set aside my feelings for duty.

  Could I pretend to not have feelings for Zane?

  Could I hide those feelings when he was around?

  Could I allow myself to feel for someone else?

  Mom and Rose had made the ultimate sacrifice for me, and I wanted to be selfish. I wanted it all. Love. Happiness. And to not get killed. Supposedly, the only way to do that was to marry Zander and join our families—the ravens and the crows.

  So I was constantly told.

  But every time I was near Zane, it was harder and harder to deny the need to be closer to him and to keep the feelings I couldn’t control from sweeping over me. I tried to think of TJ’s safety and the responsibility bestowed upon me. It was scary thinking about the number of people who were relying on me.

  An upheaval was in the works, and I was at the core.

  Joy.

  My union with Zander could be the key to ensuring peace between sectors and keeping the hallows from destroying our world. If the hallows joined forces with the defiant reapers, we were all royally screwed.

  It would have been easier if Zander wasn’t a decent guy.

  He just wasn’t the one I wanted—the one that made my heart patter.

  I cringed, thinking I might be strapped to a loveless marriage. If I wasn’t so hung up on Zane…if I could give Zander half a chance…if my soul wasn’t linked to Zane’s… None of it mattered. I couldn’t change the past, but my future was still undecided. There had to be a way to govern the sectors without having to give up on love. Things might have always been done in such order, but maybe it was time for a change. New Raven. New rules.

  I swallowed the urge to puke as I ran, wondering again what possessed me to think jogging down the beach in the middle of the day was a brilliant idea. There was a good possibility I might pass out if I didn’t stop soon. My skin was clammy and overheated. Slowing to a walk, I glanced at my phone. I had lasted thirty minutes.

  And I couldn’t say I felt any better.

  Plunking my weary butt onto the sand, I let my heart rate return to normal. The scenery was breathtaking, glittering waters, all blue skies, and pretty breezes. It was a day meant to be enjoyed, instead of hidden away, and I needed the breath of fresh air to clear my head.

  My phone dinged. It was Parker.

  What up, homeslice?

  I smiled at the screen and replied. Has anyone told you today you’re lame?

  Not today. And this is why I miss you so much.

  I bet you say that to all the girls.

  Thirty seconds later: Only you, Pipes. Everything okay there in never-never land?

  My fingers swept over the touchscreen. Depends on your definition of okay.

  I talked to your dad. He told me about your grandma. Why haven’t you called me?

  My heart dropped. I glanced out into the ocean, munching on my bottom lip. So many reasons—none of which you would actually believe. Rereading his last text, I ignored his question, more concerned with the fact that he had talked to my dad and that my dad knew Rose was dead. I’d been trying to reach him for days. You talked to my dad? I responded.

  Yeah. I’m worried about you.

  Anger whirled through me. My life was tragically falling apart over here and my dad didn’t have the decency to call me. What was his deal? As much as I wanted to lash out at someone, it wasn’t Parker’s fault my dad was a class act douchebag. Don’t be. I’m fine. Really.

  When will you be home?

  Of course he would assume now that Rose was gone I would come home. What was I going to say? This was the reason I’d been avoiding Parker for the last week. Too many questions I couldn’t answer, not without him thinking I was taking the A-train straight to the loony bin. Idk. Things are…complicated here.

  Do you want me to come and help?

  I choked. That was the last thing I wanted. Nah. It’s just BS paperwork.

  Don’t forget about me. K?

  Like I could ever forget you, Parks. He was the only thing normal and real in my life. I’ve got to go. Call u later.

  As I stared down at my phone, I wondered when or if I would ever see Parker again. I scowled. A pang of regret and guilt hit me in the chest, and before I had a second to sort through what I was feeling, a dark shadow blocked my sunlight.

  I was almost afraid to turn around. Overhead, the two hawks cried in rapid succession, sending out a warning. Whoever it was had them up in arms.

  “I was surprised to see you alone, but then I saw your babysitters.” Aspyn dropped down in the sand beside me. A pair of pink shades was situated on top of her head, chestnut locks cascading around her oval face.

  I let out a breath of relief. “Oh, thank God. I thought you might be a hallow or worse.”

  She laughed. “Well, that’s a first. No one’s ever mistaken me for a ghost. And what could be worse than the dead determined to make chop liver out of you?”

  My nose crinkled. “I could think of two things.”

  She placed a slim finger to her lips. “Let me guess. Zane and Zander?”

  I shuffled my shoes, burying them in the sand. “Bull’s-eye.”

  “I don’t see how that’s a dilemma. It sounds more like an opportunity.” Her mischievous smile twinkled. “Want to trade places?”


  “If it was possible, I might actually take you up on it.”

  “You like to run?” she asked, eyeing my gear.

  My lips quipped, “Only when my life is in shambles.”

  “Got some excess energy to burn? That I understand. It will get easier once you learn to control your powers. I bet one of your dilemmas might be able to help you burn through it.”

  Heat rushed to my face. Not because I was embarrassed, but because I was envisioning what it would be like to throw all this amped up energy into lip-locking with Zane. “I’m trying to avoid a catastrophe, not enflame it.”

  She dug her fingers into the sand behind her and leaned back. “My way sounds more fun…and it looks like you could use a little fun. I doubt you’ll have much time to yourself soon.”

  “I don’t remember signing up for summer school, but it looks like I’ve been enrolled in reaper combat and the history of banshees.”

  Her glossy lips arched. “I enjoy a little one-on-one.”

  I bet she did. Aspyn was the type of girl who was sexy without even trying. If I did or said half the things she did, I would look like an idiot. “I’m going to suck at this, you know,” I said, thinking about how much I was going to embarrass myself. “I possess no athletic skills whatsoever.”

  “Kissing is a sport. I bet you’re good at that.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Is sex the only thing on your mind?”

  She stretched out her legs like a lazy cat. “I’m an eighteen, unattached, hot female. Obviously, it’s all I think about when I’m not thinking about destroying souls.”

  Kicking off my shoes and socks, I crossed my legs. “What’s it like being a death reaper?”

  “Intoxicating. Empowering. Sexy.”

  Sexy? Really? Sexy wasn’t what came to mind when I thought of death. And then I thought of Zane. Okay, I contest death could be sexy if you looked like Zane. I lowered my lashes. “I think I get the point. You love your life. But do you ever think it’s because you’ve never known any other way?”

  She looked out at the horizon, the gentle breeze picking up pieces of her hair. “When I was about five maybe, I remember seeing a summer girl about my age visiting with her family. She was on the beach hunting for seashells, and I sat watching her, thinking she had the most beautiful blonde hair. I desperately wanted hair like hers. She was so spirited and free, running up and down the beach, completely clueless that death waited around the corner. Her mom sat a few feet from me on a beach towel soaking up the sun and watching her daughter frolic and giggle. I was still very young, but a reaper nonetheless. It was the only time I wanted to trade places with another human.”